I was hanging out with a group of young guys and gals Sunday afternoon; had a great time. But, at one point toward the latter part of the day, ‘THE QUESTION’ came up.
People ask me what I’m doing…and I panic. ‘What in the world am I going to say? They’re gonna think I’m nuts!’

Truth is, I am.

Background.

Many of you who actually know me (yes, you select few who even bother to read this) know that I attended University for two years (last semester was spring ’09), and haven’t gone back. Why? Well, many of you know that I believe leaving was what God’s plan for me involved.
And many of you also think I’m a stark raving mad religious radical. At the very least, extremely foolish. ‘Don’t you know how the world works now? It’s the 21st century, not 1826!!’
Yeah, I do know that. But I also know that God’s word remains the same, be it 42 A.D., 1826, 2010, or 2140. Doesn’t matter what year; it has never changed, and will never change–it will always be. Will Bible-believing Christians say in 5 years that “Thou shall not murder” doesn’t apply to them ’cause it was written for people way back even before Christ’s time? No. But truth is, as humans, we like to pick and choose what we want to apply…and ignore what we don’t like, stating it as irrelevant.

I have always known what I wanted to do in my adult life; Broadway, recording artist, heck-the next Sarah Brightman. Haha…No, really that was what I wanted to do in between my childhood and adulthood (roughly between the ages of 15 & 18). But my adulthood? No, I wanted something far better. I wanted to be a wife, and a mother.  I’ve wanted that since I was five years old; probably before even. I could think of nothing better to devote one’s life to. My life to. I am neither at this time…I honestly don’t know if I ever will be. It doesn’t change the fact that that is the profession I wish to have. But…..’what if it never happens? What will you do with your life?’ Gee, I don’t know. But at 19 years of age I started to believe people when they told me I needed a back-up plan. So, college was the logical choice…music even more so. That’s what I studied for a year. Somewhere during my second semester, someone I greatly respect and admire told me that my back-up plan was equivalent to a medical student deciding to also study mechanics in case they couldn’t get a position after med school. Put that way, I realized how stupid what I was doing was. I was wasting money paying for an education I really didn’t need, and didn’t particularly want. So, I decided to leave school, and study home economics and management.

After a year of this…well, I started to listen to the world again. ‘You’re wasting your time at home. Only women who are too stupid to complete their education, who couldn’t be successful in the job-field no matter how hard they tried, stay at home with their families. You do this, and you’re proving that you are one of the useless, stupid ones.’ And if there was one thing I definitely didn’t want, it was to be considered stupid or useless. I didn’t leave because I struggled in my classes, and I wanted to be sure that everyone knew that. So, I went back. Even as I talked through it with my folks, as I went through all the motions of getting registered again, signing up for classes…I knew in my soul that I was doing this for me; I was certain that it wasn’t what God would lead me to do. Heck, I wasn’t doing it for myself, I was doing it for the world–for society’s expectations. And that semester was a wake-up call. It was probably the hardest season of my life….and trust me, in my twenty-three years I’ve been through some times of living h-ll.

I’ve grown up knowing my Bible. I know what it says on how we are to live. But that semester, God made it clear to me that I should be living my life, using my transition time, to prepare myself for my role. Titus two is what He showed me; “[Older women are to] encourage the young women (notice it does not say ‘young wives’) to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” (Titus 2:4, 5) There are several things listed there that I can work towards; being sensible, pure, a worker at home, and kind. But I am not married, I don’t have any biological children; how can I love them if they don’t even exist? Proverbs 31:12 says that an excellent woman will “[do her husband] good and not evil all the days of her life.” Notice, it says ALL the days of her life–not all the days of her married life. This means, an excellent wife can do her husband good before they are man and wife, before she is of marriageable age…before she has met him, even. And what is love, anyway?

I like Merriam-Websters definition: An unselfish, loyal, and benevolent concern for the good of another.
I Corinthians 13 lists what God’s definition of love is. “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek it’s own good, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Love does not seek it’s own good. No back-up plans. It goes all-out for another. In order to love one’s husband- to love one’s children; one must understand the definition of love…must understand and be willing to commit to true love as defined by God. I wasn’t seeking the good of any other, I was looking out for myself in going back to school.
And finally, I received the final deciding word on what to do in I Corinthians 1:18-27. “…Where is the wise man?…Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through it’s wisdom did not come to know God, God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe…Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong…”

I’m not saying that every woman who attends college or holds a college degree is/was outside of God’s will; we are all different, and God has different plans for us. But I do think that the woman’s place, as designed by God, is very different from where our culture places women now. I believe that the woman’s skills and talents are at most use in the home. And I believe that we women are greatly to blame for our country’s rapidly declining state. I am not saying men are blameless; ever since Adam and Eve, women have been stepping out in disobedience and sin, and men have passively stood by. Not all men, and not all women…but the greater part for sure. Our children are the shapers of tomorrow…if they do not have the proper, biblical upbringing that God intended, then how can we expect our country to be directed in God’s way? And if we do not walk in God’s path, how can we reasonably expect to receive God’s blessing upon our country?

“We are called to be women. The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman. For I have accepted God’s idea of me, and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that I am and all that He wants me to be.” ~Elisabeth Elliot

So, yes; I am foolish…to the world I look insane. But God has chosen the things our culture considers foolish to put to shame all the ‘wisdom’ the world can muster. And, realistically speaking, I’d rather hear Christ call me wise than all the brightest professors of the world.

Proverbs 12:15 “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise.”

12:25 “Anxiety in the hear of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.”

12:26 “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

“Today a new sun rises for me; everything lives,
everything is animated, everything seems to speak to me
of my passion, everything invites me to cherish it.”
Anne De Lenclos

I don’t know what it is about Autumn, October especially, that inspires me so. To me, this season is what the first of January is to many–a time to start over again, a time of refreshment and hope for the future. I’m inspired–nay, I am filled with an eager need–to write on my blog…to clean and cook….Autumn inspires me mentally, physically, spiritually, and creatively…it inspires me to improve my life in the ways that I am able. If only this season could last all the year long that I might be so inspired for it’s entirety!

Alas, it is not to be so. I must make the best of the time I have been given.

I was reading late last night, just trying to get sleepy enough to dive into bed, from Captivating. This particular section stood out to me like a cannon-ball.

“‘Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life’ (Proverbs 4:23). Above all else. Why? Because God knows that our hear is core to who we are. It is the source of all our creativity, our courage, and our convictions. It is the fountainhead of our faith, our hope, and of course, our love. This ‘wellspring of life’ within us is the very essence of our existence, the center of our being. Your heart as a woman is the most important thing about you…God created you as a woman…You are a woman to your soul, to the very core of your being.”
Stasi Eldredge

I want to rejoice in being a woman. All this trash about ‘a woman can do anything a man can do’ and ‘there’s no real difference between a man and a woman’ is ridiculous! I’m so tired of it; there is a difference, a big one! The heart of a woman is something special, I would even go so far as to say something sacred, because it was created by God for a special purpose. As a woman, I see things differently than men; my capabilities, in my own areas, are much vaster than any that men possess. That is why I am a woman. A man can do a million things that a woman cannot, and better than she could ever hope; in his individual way. Because he is a man; created to be so. We each have individual purposes and capabilities based on our gender; we were created so.
But lest I confuse you by too many differences, I will say that there are ways that we are similar. Going back to hearts, I was reminded of the following,

“The fullness of our heart is expressed in our eyes,
in our touch, in what we write, in what we say,
in the way we walk, the way we receive,
the way we need.”
Mother Teresa

In this we, both man and woman, are similar. We express our hearts, who we are, through these different ways. And so, also, for men and women,

“Love makes burdens lighter,
because you divide them.
It makes joys more intense,
because you share them.
It makes you stronger,
so that you can reach out
and become involved with life
in ways you dared not risk alone.

‘Oh, no!’ you may be thinking, ‘Another one of those ‘single-girl’ rampages’….not so. At least, I hope not. Our culture confuses us so much with all the back and forth about the places of men and women….the similarities…the way in which we are not alike in any way…. What are we supposed to really think and believe?! I just want to be a woman…to be happy as such…and to ignore all the nonsense everyone has to say about it.
Love doesn’t always have to be of the romantic nature…take the love between two sisters, or best friends, for instance. I think this is the type of love referenced in the above quote. Someone close, who cares for you unconditionally, spurring you on to do–to be, more. Because you no longer have that fear of ‘being alone’ to stand in your way. My sisters do this for me; my friends as well. Christ does this for me. And I can say that I am happily, as a woman, moving through life as one lived through love. At the end of all things, that is one of the things that I want to be able to say. That I lived my life with love. Love for my family, for friends, for strangers I meet casually on the street…love for my Lord and Savior directing my actions.

“And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has
been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
Romans 5:5

“May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ”.
II Thessalonians 3:5

It is officially summer here…..

and I am officially trying to start this blog back up.

KattyRae has generously offered to help me in my efforts to revive this site; i.e. sprucing up the look and all that fun stuff!

Now, I am trying to sort through the contributors….some of them have had their lives take a busy direction, and will no longer be able to post with us. Others are hoping to contribute more, while still others still wish to remain involved, but will have to post less often. Hopefully, we will all work through this soon and head back into the blogosphere.

So, check back soon….if too much time is going by without anything happening…shoot me a comment. Encourage me to get back to work on things! I’d appreciate it; and any prayers you have. Thanks!

eyes searching
knees bending
voice trembling
halting words
wishes unspoken

whispered comfort
unseen arms
love extended
grace accepted
mercy received

inexplicable peace
overwhelming calm
unexplainable joy
healing begun

by: Melody Rankhorn

As you might gather from the above statement, like most of you, I have been watching the Olympics. Experiencing the adrenaline rush as our athletes compete with the best in the world; the celebrating when they win; the satisfaction of receiving gold; and the defeat of…well, defeat. It is so easy to get carried away by it all, but then, just 16 days long, it’s all over. Most of us will not remember who won what in fifty years, and (assuming we are not too deaf to hear it) will probably have to be reminded every several days. That is, providing we remember to have them remind us… But there I go again. I can’t help but think, after all that training, a life of daily discipline and self -denial, is it worth it? Don’t get me wrong, I am ecstatic about the Olympics, but it makes me ponder my own training, my own aim. And it’s not for an Olympic gold.

2 Timothy 4:7-8 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing.”

Right now those verses remind me of the champions of the Olympics. Micheal Phelps holding his eighth medal of the ’08 games; Nastia Liukin dancing into her all-around gold; Rogers and Dalhausser rejoicing in the sand; Bolt flying past the finish line with an impressive lead. All these and more. The feeling that all the years of training, of discipline, and pain gave you the gold must be sensational. But it compares but dimly with our own reward.

‘Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.’ ~ 1 Corinthians 9:24-25

‘On the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.’ -1 Timothy 4:7b-8

I wish I could go out and swim laps or practice balance beam and then say, “That should do it, I’m sure to get the gold!”. But it’s not that way, it’s tough work to become an Olympian, and even so it is not going to count in the long haul. So this spiritual training stuff… it, like, seems hard too. Thankfully our salvation does not hang on it at all. And God also does not ask us to do it in our own strength. Though He does set down rules that we are to follow…

2 Timothy 2:5 ‘Also if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules.’

Did anyone see the Men’s or Women’s 4x100m? In the two relays, both women’s and the men’s, our U.S. team dropped the baton. As a result we couldn’t win. Both teams looked devastated. Also this week Spearman had to give up his bronze placement. Why? Because during the race he unintentionally stepped on the line. Still the rules are the rules. And if we lose focus we can easily bend them. Me? Oh yeah, I do that too- big time! Sometimes I focus so much on staying focused I lose focus……. Where was I? Oh yes, focus. In Hebrews 12 the first few verses tell us to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. Not the other runners, not the audience, not the elements, not the difficulties, Jesus. He is the only One who can truly direct us to the finish line. He is the only One who can run the perfect race. So, I’ll just keep focused on Jesus, thank you very much. It does not matter if so-and-so is way ahead of us, or if the crowd is cheering or booing. Rain? No problem. Sun? No sweat. All these things, though true realities and elements, should not be our focus or our drive. Because when we let them become so we either lose aim, or shift aim. When we lose aim we become wrapped up in the fact that it’s raining, or hot, or too difficult. Or we run with the aim of beating the other runners or to keep the crowd cheering, not to run for Christ. And if we do that we cannot win. So, with the words of the Apostle Paul I shall leave you.

‘Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.’ 1 Corinthians 9:26-27

I was also reading in Hebrews 13 today, and this passage stuck out to me in the context of what is written above…”‘Make sure that [you are]…content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,’ so that we confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid…” verses five and six. And verses 8, 15, and 16; “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever…Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name. And do not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”

I do not know what God has for me in my years of singleness, but I do know it is not to be pining away for the married life; that’s definitely not being “content with what you have”. Jesus is the same, always and forever, and His Word never changes. He has given me a purpose for this time; He has given me things to do and plans to accomplish; and I should not be shirking them. If you ever struggle with feeling as though God can’t possibly live you if you’re still single, take a look at these following verses…you’ll have to change your mind.
“‘Fear not, for you will not be put to shame; and do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced; but you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. For your husband is your Maker, whose name is the LORD of hosts; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, who is called the God of all the earth. For the LORD has called you, like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,’ says your God. ’For a brief moment I forsook you, but with great compassion I will gather you. In an outburst of anger I hid My face from you for a moment, but with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on you,’ says the LORD your Redeemer. ‘O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony, and your foundations I will lay in sapphires. Moreover, I will make your battlements of rubies, and your gates of crystal, and your entire wall of precious stones. All your sons will be taught of the LORD; and the well-being of your sons will be great. In righteousness you will be established; you will be far from oppression, for you will not fear; and from terror, for it will not come near you. If anyone fiercely assails you it will not be from Me. Whoever assails you will fall because of you. Behold, I Myself have created the smith who blows the fire of coals and brings out a weapon for its work; and I have created the destroyer to ruin. No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; and every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their vindication is from Me,’ declares the LORD.” Isaiah 54:4-8, 11-17.

When the time for marriage came, I was planning for my father to be involved in helping me choose a husband. The Lord has said; “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1). My parents taught me this principal from the Word when I was growing up. They also taught me that I did not need to be “boy crazy”, and date when I grew of age. When I got into my late teens I saw that my wicked, sinful heart could not handle the emotions that come with a dating relationship (Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”).

I also saw from the Word that I did not want to date (Proverbs 4:23, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”).

I saw that I needed to keep my heart from having a crush on some boy, and keep my thoughts and emotions in check. “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” 2 Corinthians10:5.

As a young lady, it was hard not having a “sweetheart” on Valentine’s Day to bring me flowers, and it was not always the easiest thing for me to tell people why boys were not hanging around; but I was waiting on just the right guy that the Lord had for me. I really wanted to be married, which was interesting; I had such a strong desire to get married and be a wife and mother, being that I was still in my late teens. But the Lord knew what was ahead. I remember thinking of some of the women in the Bible, and what they were doing before they had gotten married. I realized that Rachel (Genesis 29:1-28 ) was watching her fathers’ sheep when Jacob came along. Rebekah was getting water at the well when Abraham’s servant saw her and knew that this was the one he had prayed for (Genesis 24). Ruth was gleaning in the fields, working to get food for herself and her mother-in-law, when Boaz took notice of her. All these women were serving or working when their husbands came into the picture. Psalms 37:3 says “Trust in the Lord, and do good…”-So, I was to do good; what I knew the Lord would have me to be doing, and trust the Lord for a husband. The Lord had also shown me some things about serving (John 13:14-15 etc.). Thus, I needed to serve, and whatever else He had shown me, and not worry about finding a husband. Of course, I’m not encouraging you to start serving so your husband-to-be will take notice of you, but I do think you need to be about the business the Lord has shown you through His Word. “And this is love, that we walk after His commandments…” (2 John 1:6). Another good verse that helped me was Psalms 37:5, “Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.”

So, in summary, as a young lady, I was to keep my heart from emotional distractions; trust the Lord to send me a husband; rely on the wisdom of my father for help in choosing a husband; and while I was waiting, serve the Lord in the things He had shown me.

Part Two continued later….

I had a few verses I had noticed on trust, along with a few thoughts I’d like to share. I’d like you to focus more on the verses than my thoughts, though. The first is one most of us have heard over and over.

‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding.’

Proverbs 3:5

This was one I would sort of skim over, after all I knew it by heart ( or so I thought). I thought that I had already received everything there was to receive from it. Same message every time. Like an overplayed CD. But then I was tested, and I found I was very deficient in trust. This verse I found both encouraging and instructive. Not only ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart,‘ (Italics mine) but also ‘do not lean on your own understanding.’ All my “understanding”, what I “think” I know can’t hold anyway weight upon it.

Transferring my trust from myself to God is a pretty hard thing. And the passage I have found to really captivate my interest and speak to me in this matter is Luke chapter 1. There are two verses that stuck out to me, but I’d like to share a few more so it all makes sense. In one of the two verses the angel, Gabriel, is speaking to Zacharius. The other is Elizabeth, Zacharius’ wife, speaking to Mary, the mother of Jesus. In both verses the individuals (Zacharius and Mary) have heard astounding news from Gabriel. Zacharius heard that his barren wife (vs. 7) was to bear a son (vs. 13). Mary heard that she, a virgin (vs. 27), would bear the Son of God (vs. 31-32). But their responses were different. In verse 18 we have Zacharius’response: ‘Zacharius said to the angel, “How will I know this for certain? For I am an old man and my wife is advanced in years.”‘ Luke 1:18 And Gabriel responded in verses 19 and 20. Verse 20 is one of the two verses I mentioned before. ‘”And behold, you shall be silent and unable to speak until the day when these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their proper time.”‘ Luke 1:20 Mary, however, had a different reaction. She had a question of her own (vs. 34), but she believed God. Her response demonstrates her trust. ‘And Mary said, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord, may it be done to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.’ Luke 1:38 So here comes the second verse I promised. This is one that blesses me each time I read it. It makes trusting God clearly the only thing to do. Here Elizabeth is speaking to Mary: ‘”And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord.”‘ Luke 1:45 Blessed. Wow! Mary believed God and so she was blessed. It didn’t say that it wouldn’t happen if she didn’t believe. But she did believe that it would be fulfilled. Zacharius did not, and so he was mute until the day of his son’s circumcision (vs. 64). His reaction was not to believe, yet it still was fulfilled. The tricky thing is, it is easy to believe after the fulfillment, but beforehand it is so hard! Like it says in 2 Corinthians 5:7 ‘for we walk by faith, not by sight-’ Believing God takes faith, and faith seems to have an element of trust in it. But I don’t want to go too far. Let me just say that there are only benefits for trusting in the Lord, no downsides. After all, God is a good God- the only God.

‘Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.’ 1 Thessalonians 5:24

Hmm. Good and Faithful. Personally I can think of no other I would trust.